I just need to vent out today...
I am not feeling good at all...
Rather am miserable to the core...
Totally pissed off...
I just started liking my life..
People around me didnt seem to be so bad today...
After ages I felt calm and peaceful today..
Just relaxed and happy with myself..
But again everything changed within a minute..
The peace, the tranquility, the calm just vanished..
Fears, Memories, Past Emotions just seem to crowd my mind..
I know I cant change things that have happened..
Its just out of my hands...
But am unable to come to terms with things...
The old peaceful me has vanished all of a sudden and left behind a DARK DARK shadow of gloom and despair...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
At the junction
I was left standing at a junction,
When everyone seemed to have gone in different directions,
I waited for them to turn back and wave me goodbye once,
I tried to catch their attention by waving,
But they never looked back.
I tried to attract their attention by shouting aloud,
But they seemed unaware.
And as always EVERYONE JUST MOVED ON ....
Leaving me all alone at the junction waiting and waiting like the times before.......
When everyone seemed to have gone in different directions,
I waited for them to turn back and wave me goodbye once,
I tried to catch their attention by waving,
But they never looked back.
I tried to attract their attention by shouting aloud,
But they seemed unaware.
And as always EVERYONE JUST MOVED ON ....
Leaving me all alone at the junction waiting and waiting like the times before.......
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
My ESCAPE
Dreams, Darkness & Starry Lights,
This is what I see when I close my eyes.
It is a place I escape to in my mind,
Far- far away from the daily grind.
Hustle-bustle of life seems to end,
And there isn't any road that has a bend.
Everything moves at a slow pace,
But the synchroncity is such that it makes my heart race,
It sometimes seems to be a land of perfection,
But looking closely it is just my own selection of imperfections.
But soon recurrent thoughts crowd my mind,
Will I ever be able to set real things right??
And then again I just close my eyes to see my starry lights......
This is what I see when I close my eyes.
It is a place I escape to in my mind,
Far- far away from the daily grind.
Hustle-bustle of life seems to end,
And there isn't any road that has a bend.
Everything moves at a slow pace,
But the synchroncity is such that it makes my heart race,
It sometimes seems to be a land of perfection,
But looking closely it is just my own selection of imperfections.
But soon recurrent thoughts crowd my mind,
Will I ever be able to set real things right??
And then again I just close my eyes to see my starry lights......
Sunday, May 31, 2009
B'Day Analysis
Well tonight is the night before my birthday..My friends have planned a cake and regular small party at night as usual..And I have already had had a pastry massage when one of my friends who wont be there tomorrow showed up with pastries to celebrate.But am not feeling happy or excited.In my head I m replaying the images of the last whole year.I feel that I have changed beyond recognition much much more than I could ever imagine on the same date last year.I try to analyze these differences and their causes but all it brings is memories that I dont wanna remember again.Images flash through my mind- plenty of them- they are as random as they can be.I can see people who made in impact and in some subtle way contributed the change in me.But I dont like the change at all.I dont want to grow old.I dont want to learn the lessons life is teaching me on a daily basis.I just want to be isolated from everything right now and I dont want to feel any pain or misery now.I am just fed up.Just totally fed up of everything now................
EGO PROBLEM
I dont have an EGO PROBLEM,
I just have an EGO and you the PROBLEM attached to it.
I dont know how many times have I said this to people- my friends, classmates, family etc etc. Dont consider me arrogant but I seriously dont understand people at all.They always want you to do what they think is right and even if you do that and result turns bad then they ll blame you for screwing up your life. Everyone around me has an opinion on everything- cricket,politics,clothes, philosphy, books,music, films, pets,other people etc etc and till the time you keep agreeing to their opinion life is rosy and sunshine shines bright but the day you disagree and take a stand it becomes a world war and all the skeletons in the closet are brought out.All the things that are trivial enough to be forgotten by you are pulled out to your face and such a distorted picture would be presented to you that even you would feel sorry to have disagreed with the other person or have an opinion about something.I m lost for words and just dont get it that if its ok for you to have an opinion about something then why isnt it ok for me to hold an opinion too. Why does it have to match on everything?? In my life the best friends I have are people with whom I have clashes of opion on everything but we have managed to coexsit and gain the best from each others experience and opinions and the clash opnions leads to a better understanding of other persons psyche.But this concept is just a lost cause in case of most people.And I often end up being an egoist.
I just have an EGO and you the PROBLEM attached to it.
I dont know how many times have I said this to people- my friends, classmates, family etc etc. Dont consider me arrogant but I seriously dont understand people at all.They always want you to do what they think is right and even if you do that and result turns bad then they ll blame you for screwing up your life. Everyone around me has an opinion on everything- cricket,politics,clothes, philosphy, books,music, films, pets,other people etc etc and till the time you keep agreeing to their opinion life is rosy and sunshine shines bright but the day you disagree and take a stand it becomes a world war and all the skeletons in the closet are brought out.All the things that are trivial enough to be forgotten by you are pulled out to your face and such a distorted picture would be presented to you that even you would feel sorry to have disagreed with the other person or have an opinion about something.I m lost for words and just dont get it that if its ok for you to have an opinion about something then why isnt it ok for me to hold an opinion too. Why does it have to match on everything?? In my life the best friends I have are people with whom I have clashes of opion on everything but we have managed to coexsit and gain the best from each others experience and opinions and the clash opnions leads to a better understanding of other persons psyche.But this concept is just a lost cause in case of most people.And I often end up being an egoist.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
What my heart desires
Random thoughts crowd my mind,
Dreams,Hope,Darkness and Fear together i can find.
Sometimes a thing makes me glad,
and the other times it just makes me sad.
Sometime my heart is filled with terror and gloom,
And other times it is just like a garden on the bloom.
Everything around me seems to be in a tension
which is there though no one mentions.
I yearn to let go,
But the case is never so.
There is no setting free,
There is no soaring high in the sky,
There is no wind my wings,
There is nowhere that I can fly,
So all I do is sit and sigh.
Dreams,Hope,Darkness and Fear together i can find.
Sometimes a thing makes me glad,
and the other times it just makes me sad.
Sometime my heart is filled with terror and gloom,
And other times it is just like a garden on the bloom.
Everything around me seems to be in a tension
which is there though no one mentions.
I yearn to let go,
But the case is never so.
There is no setting free,
There is no soaring high in the sky,
There is no wind my wings,
There is nowhere that I can fly,
So all I do is sit and sigh.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
HAPPY ENDING
I often wonder that are happy endings just a part of fiction??
Is real life always full of misery and pain??
Is that sappy cute romance just a part of novels and movies??
Or is there a knight in shining armor for every girl and a perfect girl for every guy??
If it is true that sun never sets..Its the earth that rotates to cause night then maybe all the above are also true. There might just be a happy ending to each story there ever is, it might be that we don't linger long enough to see it.It just the perspective i guess..like we say the sun sets when its just the earth that has rotated..but poor sun is blamed..so is the case with most of the things.Its easier for us to blame fate or say that it was the fault of the other person and this escapist nature of ours causes the sad ending.But i would still believe that if its not happy then its not the end... So whenever you see an end approaching make it as happy as possible because all of us have this Happy Ending Bug embedded in us and we wont ever be satisfied with things till its a happy ending..and so never rest till you get a happy ending for every ending even though it might not be the happy ending u imagined when u began the thing but same or different it just should be a Happy Ending..(warna..."picture abhi baaki hai mere dost"...:P...I just had to quote SRK here..u cant blame mefor this.. :) )
Is real life always full of misery and pain??
Is that sappy cute romance just a part of novels and movies??
Or is there a knight in shining armor for every girl and a perfect girl for every guy??
If it is true that sun never sets..Its the earth that rotates to cause night then maybe all the above are also true. There might just be a happy ending to each story there ever is, it might be that we don't linger long enough to see it.It just the perspective i guess..like we say the sun sets when its just the earth that has rotated..but poor sun is blamed..so is the case with most of the things.Its easier for us to blame fate or say that it was the fault of the other person and this escapist nature of ours causes the sad ending.But i would still believe that if its not happy then its not the end... So whenever you see an end approaching make it as happy as possible because all of us have this Happy Ending Bug embedded in us and we wont ever be satisfied with things till its a happy ending..and so never rest till you get a happy ending for every ending even though it might not be the happy ending u imagined when u began the thing but same or different it just should be a Happy Ending..(warna..."picture abhi baaki hai mere dost"...:P...I just had to quote SRK here..u cant blame mefor this.. :) )
Devil Wears Prada
I think most of us have heard the title, if not from the novel everyone can sure recall it from the movie which starred Anne Hathaway. Well the movie is based on the novel written by Lauren Weiseberger which if not considered to make a very deep impact is not just another read. At one point or another all girls reading the novel would relate to Andrea- the protagonist of the novel. The novel is about Andrea and her desire to become a journalist which forces her to take a job in a fashion magazine though she doesn't know 'F' of Fashion.The novel deals with various aspects of Andreas life in which she is trying to fit in magazine crowd,her own personal life,friends and changes that she goes through. Witty and crisp the novel gives an insight about what happens behind the glamour of the fashion world and for once it is just not a point of view of a model.Overall its a decent novel and for a change even the movie measures up to the novel obviously with a few changes here and there. So keep reading and do watch the movie if u get the chance. :)
Hmmm
With college over and job joining delayed(am just another recession hit software engg) I think I have loads of time to contemplate about things, read loads of novels, watch all the movies that I have ever missed, dream a lot and most importantly sleep a lot.So with this starts my obsession to write about each book that I read and each movie that I watch.Be prepared coz i watch just appy romantic movies that make me go "AWWWWWWWWW....CHO SWEET"..so anyone who would be reading this blog would get a dose of such reviews and all kinds of FICTION novels.I assume that you would have got it by now that I am just another person who is not ready to come out of their dream world where everything sugar and spice and everything that is nice..:)
With college over and job joining delayed(am just another recession hit software engg) I think I have loads of time to contemplate about things, read loads of novels, watch all the movies that I have ever missed, dream a lot and most importantly sleep a lot.So with this starts my obsession to write about each book that I read and each movie that I watch.Be prepared coz i watch just appy romantic movies that make me go "AWWWWWWWWW....CHO SWEET"..so anyone who would be reading this blog would get a dose of such reviews and all kinds of FICTION novels.I assume that you would have got it by now that I am just another person who is not ready to come out of their dream world where everything sugar and spice and everything that is nice..:)
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna,
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna...
bawre se mann ki dekho bawri hain baatein,
bawre se mann ki dekho bawri hain baatein,
bawri si dharkanein hain, bawri hain saasein,
bawri si karwaton se nindiya door bhage,
bawre se nain chahe bawre jharokhon se,
bawre nazaaron ko takna.
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna,
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna...
One of my all times favorite song..can listen to it uninterrupted for hours together.What depth and time standstill quality this song has.It always amazes me.But what amazes me more is the meaning that the poet has just put in such simple words--The meaning of Dreams, the craziness of each goal we set, and the importance we give to what our heart desires.I mean everytime one of our dream breaks or a desire is not fulfilled, we feel that the whole world has ended, that life is so unfair but we forget that it was just a dream,just a desire..how could we lose what we never had...It was just a DREAM...But our heart takes over and it cries for whatever has been lost but also starts weaving a new desire simultaneously, a new hope, a new dream.
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna...
bawre se mann ki dekho bawri hain baatein,
bawre se mann ki dekho bawri hain baatein,
bawri si dharkanein hain, bawri hain saasein,
bawri si karwaton se nindiya door bhage,
bawre se nain chahe bawre jharokhon se,
bawre nazaaron ko takna.
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna,
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna...
One of my all times favorite song..can listen to it uninterrupted for hours together.What depth and time standstill quality this song has.It always amazes me.But what amazes me more is the meaning that the poet has just put in such simple words--The meaning of Dreams, the craziness of each goal we set, and the importance we give to what our heart desires.I mean everytime one of our dream breaks or a desire is not fulfilled, we feel that the whole world has ended, that life is so unfair but we forget that it was just a dream,just a desire..how could we lose what we never had...It was just a DREAM...But our heart takes over and it cries for whatever has been lost but also starts weaving a new desire simultaneously, a new hope, a new dream.
Well well well...
This is another of my attempts to have some order in my life..I have again promised myself to write something on a regular basis and with a lot of changes in near future i dont think getting things to write about would be that difficult..
but knowing me i would just say lets see...:)
This is another of my attempts to have some order in my life..I have again promised myself to write something on a regular basis and with a lot of changes in near future i dont think getting things to write about would be that difficult..
but knowing me i would just say lets see...:)
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