I often wonder how much an year changes us??
How much do things change in one year?
I know that it might be just another one of those things that I wonder about around my birthday, maybe birthday is just a trigger to analyse the whole year gone by. Images flash in front of my eyes if i start contemplating.
Last year I was excited, I was in a new city, couldn't wait to explore. I had gotten admission in a BSchool which if not my first choice, was definitely my second choice. I was optimistic about what year would hold. I wanted to meet new people, get to know them. I couldn't wait for it all to begin.
I look back today and I see the same city but its no longer inviting or tempting. I see a bunch of people I have studied with and want to know how many of them can be called my friends? I wanted to excel in the B-school but for the first time I was the one in the bottom layer. I got rejected by 26 companies in GD and Interview not to mention the infinite others who did not even shortlist me. For the first time in my life I doubted myself, I doubted my decision to do MBA,. For the first time in my life, I wanted to go back few years and stop myself from putting myself through this. For the time in myself I regretted doing something.
I dont say it was all bad. There were times when the day couldnt have been any better. But the cloudy days were much more than what I wanted to be.
I know that I would remember the year as one of the year that has taught me the most. It made me grow up a lot. Though I wanted to or did not want to grow up is another question all together.
Well coming back to topic- The only thing that amazes me now if the amount of people I have met in the last year, observed their dynamics, and how my dynamics with a lot of people has changed. If I list down the people in life except my family today then the list would be like:My best friend (my ex roomate), a friend from my time in Chandigarh, arnd 4-5 classmates, 2-3 seniors who I talk to frequently, 1-2 engineering college friends,2 school friends( not in touch much but always a part of my life) and thats it.
Same time last year if I think people who were most important to me except my family: My best friend (ex roomate)- the most constant factor in my life, 4 people from Chandigarh none of who feature even in list this year, my ex boss and his wife, 4-5 engineering college (only two of whom have stayed on), 2-3 general acquaintances and friends(again who are not at all important now) and yaa the 2 school friends.
I look at the above list and it bothers me. Is it how it is supposed to be? You meet people, you get to know them, you spend time with them and in literal terms you have given them a piece of your life that you wont get back just to forget them like this? Just to change so much in a span of an year? Is this what growing up does to you? Is this what practicality is all about?
We live in a generation that believes MOVING ON. We have grown to be impatient as people. We believe in instant gratification. But haven't we become self centered in the process??
Do I like the new change? Do I like the new me is the question that still I dont know the answer to!!
